You and me, do we self sabotage?

Author: Ben Kench

You and me…we self sabotage!

Yesterday I was with a client and we discussed recent progress and forward goals.

Interestingly what came out of the conversation is something I know you will relate to…

You see if I ask you how you have been getting on recently with progress towards your identified next level goals what might you say??

  • Ok
  • Not bad
  • Pretty good

But would you say Fabulous?!

And if not why not?

Probably because things have got in the way and progress hasn’t been what you initially wanted…

Well my client said much the same and upon digging we uncovered an interesting line of thought:

 Because the recent past hasn’t been so brilliant there is an underlying pattern of semi conscious thinking based around the “I can’t afford it not to change quickly” i.e. fear

Fear that it might all go very badly wrong. Fear that it might not work out. Fear that the personal situation might become worse.

And alarm bells started ringing. This internal thinking was creeping in with more frequency…not just on bad days but more often…quiet mornings, slow afternoons, waiting for returned phone calls that aren’t immediately returned, hoping and willing the phone to ring with that semi promised “I’ll get back to you”.

All of these moments are now coming thicker and faster so that almost the gaps between them where positive optimistic thoughts occupy are shrinking and being squeezed!!

In fact…drowning in internal fear thoughts and by very doing so sabotaging the chances of success and digging the way out!

So here’s what we did…and you must catch yourself and do the same…

Whenever you begin to touch upon a slightly negative moment…recognise it and force your mind into external thinking. Literally drag a outwardly focussed image or need or activity or thought into focus…switch the brain from me to them.

For example, my client is a coach. She does what she does because she feels that her activities genuinely help people and guide her clients towards a smoother more rewarding future. Her drive is helping others.

 I literally dragged her selfish internal thoughts along the ‘woe is me’ line across into a ‘who can I help now’ approach.

We consciously tuned into their core driver..her reason for doing what she does…her focus at core is helping others…and so we re-tuned to the original driving energy and then re-focussed onto the object of the mission…and by doing so instantly remove the ‘fear of failure’ mindset and start to see the endless list f things to do to reach more people.


I promise you, if you and I can master out thoughts in these slightly down moments…whatever our personal situation or career path…it is this self mastery that sets you apart from the rest.


You already are apart from the rest by the way! I know that. You know that…so show them that!!

Learn to recognise the smallest creeping in of  negative fear based thought and instantly deliberately switch it for a ‘eternal love of others’ thought… re-tune into your core values of why you do what you do…and then ask ‘who can I help next and how?’.


In that very moment you will have too much to do…become fired up with possibilities …and the Universe will step forward to meet you because you have stepped up on your path!!

Wonders happen. Miracles do appear!


Keep the faith…learn to fight self sabotage and above all else have a absolutely awesome day helping others have a better life!

Yours always with love


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